A Painful Start to the Year

My father had been diagnosed with MGUS, a precursor to myeloma, in 2004 and this progressed to myeloma in 2013. He received excellent care from Miles Prince but had finally exhausted the treatment options by the start of this year. We were fortunate to get one more family Christmas and enough notice that it was possible for many of his extended family to come to Melbourne to say goodbye during the last months. Having looked after so many patients when they were ill or dying did not really make it any easier, rather I feel the experience has made my work more emotionally difficult at times.

I lightened my work commitments significantly over the period from November until after my father’s funeral in February. I found that keeping up some social engagements and also working some of the time with people who were unaware of my situation provided some welcome relief.

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We went to the first Friday evening session of the Australian Open and saw Nick Kyrgios defeat Jo-Wilfried Tsonga in a well-behaved match by his standards. The other match that evening was somewhat one-sided with Caroline Wozniacki a clear winner.

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Midsumma Carnival fell on a beautiful day on January 14. We were close by as we had tickets to see The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, so we walked to the park to catch the last hours of the event and ran into a few friends.

Our friend Kam combined his birthday party with organising an event on a boat in Port Philip Bay on the Australia Day weekend. It was a fun evening as we sailed from Docklands to Williamstown and back via St Kilda. We were very lucky with warm clear weather and entertaining company.

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The following weekend we tried going to the Midsumma Pool Party for the first time. It was a little more crowded than an average Sunday afternoon at the Prahran Pool. The Melbourne Surge waterpolo team were promoting their sport with a modified version played in inflatable rings. I had a go; I’m not sure if our team won or not.

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In the weeks before Mardi Gras, we also had a surprise birthday party for Tim at the indoor mini golf course Holey Moley, a welcome for the new Anaesthesia trainees at St Vincent’s, a family lunch at my cousin’s Craig’s house as his sister was visiting from New York with her new partner, and we went to see the short-lived local production of Green Day’s American Idiot. Jay ticked another item off the list of citizenship tasks by playing backyard cricket at the family lunch.

At the start of march we went to Sydney for Mardi Gras. We visited Beau and went to two of the Sunday parties, having a fun time and meeting few new people. It was a big year because of the 40th anniversary and also the recent Marriage Equality victory. Because we took the Monday off work after Mardi Gras, we had several short weeks in a row due to the Labour Day holiday the following week and then Easter.

The bodybuilding circus was in town the week after Mardi Gras. We had tickets for the Expo and prejudging but Jay was sent to California for work so I went with a friend, Darren. Roelly Winklaar won the Pro division. It was the first pro competition for Nathan Williamson whom we met when he was first training at Doherty’s years ago.

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Meanwhile Jay visited his sister’s family in the Bay Area and spent a week at GDC with a group from his work. I had a particularly intense work week while he was away, culminating in a Friday night with a series of emergency cases which meant running two theatres well past midnight.

Jay came back in time for my birthday and the Easter break. For my birthday we had dinner at Ishizuka: a very authentic kaiseki. We went to Sorrento for a few days over Easter, partly for the rest and partly to check the effect of the construction work next door on the garden and the fence. The town was very busy but the back beach was pretty much deserted when we went walking on the Saturday.

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Much of my spare time has been occupied with dealing with my father’s estate and taking responsibility for managing my mother’s affairs. It is inevitable that these tasks have to be done at a time of emotional fragility. The current plan is to keep putting one foot in front of the other in the expectation that things will get better. Next week Jay’s parents are coming to visit us which will be a welcome distraction.

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